Style Points

Conspiracy Corner with Rashard Mendenhall by Business_Socks
May 12, 2011, 12:40 am
Filed under: Business_Socks | Tags: , ,

The NFL lockout has afforded the league’s athletes with an unprecedented amount of free time.  Here at Style Points we will be highlighting interesting and innovative uses of this time by some of today’s biggest stars.  Today, we present you with a transcript – yes, we sent the ten dollars and self-addressed stamped envelope – of a new public access television show hosted by Pittsburgh Steeler running back Rashard Mendenhall.  His first guest?  Our old, dear friend…Ron Artest.

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Style Points Poll: How Will Lane Kiffin Get in Trouble Next? by ClintonPortishead
Kiffin explains the more delicate intricacies of recruiting violations

Kiffin explains the more delicate intricacies of recruiting violations

Former Al Davis whipping boy/blood jockey Lane Kiffin has already run afoul of the NCAA several times in his short time as head coach of the University of Tennessee, prompting many to wonder if the fair-haired lady-killer is in over his head. His various rules infractions so far have included unauthorized career advice, ill-advised follow-up calls, calling the kettle black, illegal use of a fog machine, practicing medicine without a license, and most recently, oversharing on Twitter (redundant).

As we make a living on being one step ahead of the game, Style Points now looks to the future and prognosticates the precocious coach’s next avenue of fuck-up.

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Ask An Old Redneck Vol. 2 by Business_Socks

It’s time to check in with Festus again.  Let’s see who’s needing a nice dose of anonymous advice.

Dear Mr. Bogwater,

Long time reader, first time writer.  I’ve been struggling at the plate lately.  My power has mysteriously disappeared.  Though last night I connected for my first home run of the year.  What I would like to know is do you think that’s a sign that I’m getting my stroke back or just dumb luck?


Brokedown in Beantown
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Kevin Kolb: Frustrated by Shakεy

Today Eagles backup Quarterback Kevin Kolb said he’d be ‘frustrated’ if Donovan McNabb received a contract extension. Unfortunately for Kolb, journalists didn’t give enough of a shit about him to print the rest of his words. But you know what Kevin? I’m here for you. I’ll tell the world how you really feel.

Kevin Kolb would also be frustrated if… Continue reading

Weekly Power Poll: Wrestlers Turned Hoopsters by Business_Socks

This week it came to light that the Pepsi Center in Denver is double booked for game 4 of the Western Conference Finals.  The competing event is a WWE event.  With no easy answers in sight we here at Style Points burned the midnight oil (and sensimilla) and found a compromise.  We’ll find 5 old school wrestlers apiece to suit up for the Lakers and Nuggets.  We still get the game and Vince McMahon gets his exposure (and his Guatemalan toddler as per his venue rider).

10. Junkyard Dog  (Lakers) – He’s a perfect fit for LA because they are as soft as Jack Nicholson’s penis pavillion (stomach).  Yes, he’s dead but if you’re going to be a stickler about whether or not these old school wrestlers are alive then I’m not going to be able to write this fucking thing so shut up Mean Gene Okerlund.
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Healthy Living with George Karl by ClintonPortishead

As America remains mired in an epidemic of obesity and sedentary lifestyle, Style Points feels we have a civic obligation to tackle the problem head-on and lead a national campaign of health education and awareness. However, this seemed like far too much work, so instead we asked friend-of-the-site and current Denver Nuggets Head Coach/celestial body George Karl to share his tips to a healthier and happier you. (Editorial note: The copy we received from Karl was covered in honey mustard and what appears to be saliva, but we’ve tried to transcribe the best we can).

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NBA Benchwarmer Mark Madsen Struggling To Gain Twitter Following by Shakεy

Thirty three year old NBA journeyman Power Forward Mark Madsen would love to share his thoughts via the newfangled social networking device Twitter. Unfortunately for the 6’9″ big man out of Stanford University, nobody wants to follow him. ‘MaddogMadsen‘ is twittering into a vacuum of despair. Continue reading