Filed under: Business_Socks | Tags: conspiracy theories, rashard mendenhall, Ron Artest
The NFL lockout has afforded the league’s athletes with an unprecedented amount of free time. Here at Style Points we will be highlighting interesting and innovative uses of this time by some of today’s biggest stars. Today, we present you with a transcript – yes, we sent the ten dollars and self-addressed stamped envelope – of a new public access television show hosted by Pittsburgh Steeler running back Rashard Mendenhall. His first guest? Our old, dear friend…Ron Artest.
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: butt tampons, Donovan McNabb contract extension, Kevin Kolb, Kevin Kolb frustrated, Mewtwo, Prom, robot spider monsters, vampire zombie hybrid
Today Eagles backup Quarterback Kevin Kolb said he’d be ‘frustrated’ if Donovan McNabb received a contract extension. Unfortunately for Kolb, journalists didn’t give enough of a shit about him to print the rest of his words. But you know what Kevin? I’m here for you. I’ll tell the world how you really feel.
Kevin Kolb would also be frustrated if… Continue reading
Filed under: Business_Socks | Tags: Baby Hulk, black mamba, denver nuggets, Dibiase boned my aunt, Guatemalan toddler, Junkyard Dog, LA Lakers, Nicholson's penis pavillion, predictions, the Undertaker, WWE
This week it came to light that the Pepsi Center in Denver is double booked for game 4 of the Western Conference Finals. The competing event is a WWE event. With no easy answers in sight we here at Style Points burned the midnight oil (and sensimilla) and found a compromise. We’ll find 5 old school wrestlers apiece to suit up for the Lakers and Nuggets. We still get the game and Vince McMahon gets his exposure (and his Guatemalan toddler as per his venue rider).
10. Junkyard Dog (Lakers) – He’s a perfect fit for LA because they are as soft as Jack Nicholson’s penis pavillion (stomach). Yes, he’s dead but if you’re going to be a stickler about whether or not these old school wrestlers are alive then I’m not going to be able to write this fucking thing so shut up Mean Gene Okerlund.
Filed under: ClintonPortishead | Tags: baconnaise, denver nuggets, fecal mountain, George Karl, george karl has a glandular problem, Healthy Living, how to lose weight and alienate people, making fun of cancer survivors, NBA health tips, peeping tom, people who look like William Taft, western conference finals
As America remains mired in an epidemic of obesity and sedentary lifestyle, Style Points feels we have a civic obligation to tackle the problem head-on and lead a national campaign of health education and awareness. However, this seemed like far too much work, so instead we asked friend-of-the-site and current Denver Nuggets Head Coach/celestial body George Karl to share his tips to a healthier and happier you. (Editorial note: The copy we received from Karl was covered in honey mustard and what appears to be saliva, but we’ve tried to transcribe the best we can).
Filed under: Shakey | Tags: C-List douche, Dairy Queen with Shaq, Daughter Lindsay, Jimmy Fallon, Maddog Madsen, Mark Madsen, Mark Madsen has no friends, Shrek
Thirty three year old NBA journeyman Power Forward Mark Madsen would love to share his thoughts via the newfangled social networking device Twitter. Unfortunately for the 6’9″ big man out of Stanford University, nobody wants to follow him. ‘MaddogMadsen‘ is twittering into a vacuum of despair. Continue reading