Style Points


Weekly Power Poll: Top Ten Satisfying Ways To Injure Rajon Rondo by Business_Socks

Rondo Mugged

10. Caning – Very early 90’s. It’d be great to see the opposing coach holding a stick of bamboo on the sideline waiting for Rondo to get close enough for a shot across the calves.

9. Prison Shank – Be honest. Rafer Alston looks totally capable of this.

8. Pistol Whip – A really underrated form of assault. It’s like the bitch slap of gunplay.

7. Hot Grits to the Face – It made Al Green stop cattin’ around and get religion. Can’t argue with that.

Crotch Kick

Crotch Kick

6. Crotch Kick – Not just any crotch kick. He has to stand on stage at Radio City Music Hall while the Rockettes come down the line punting him in the flesh nuggets.

5. Stoning – Who can’t get behind a little biblical ‘eye for an eye’ interaction? Rainy Day Point Guard #9 is my favorite unreleased Dylan song.

4. Necklacing – According to Wikipedia it’s the practice of forcing a rubber tire filled with gasoline around a victim’s chest and arms and setting it on fire. Well then.

3. Full Metal Jacket Treatment – Bars of soap in a towel. Swung by Albert Pujols…and John Henry. Also, don’t try to blame the donuts in the foot locker on Big Baby. That’s a dick move.

2. Upside Down Crucifixion – It just sounds badass. Like something you’d hear about in a Cannibal Corpse song. Anyway, Jesus was crucified with two thieves and according to basketball-reference you averaged 1.9 steals a game this year. Now remove that headband. We’ve got some new headgear for ya.

1. Taser Attack – Maybe not as permanently harmful as some of the other selections but the entertainment value can’t be quantified. Bonus points if you can arrange for “Electric Slide” to be played over the PA. It’s Electric!

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5 Comments so far
Leave a comment

awwww, another fag whining about rondo. get the dick out of your ass, people. this isn’t the church league.

Comment by joe

Actually, I figured the Boston church league to be sort of handsy, no?

Comment by Business_Socks

[…] 10 Ways to Injure Rajon Rondo of the Boston Celtics. […]

Pingback by Last Post « Logic

Rondo makes me think of an absolute low-life thug, but stealthily so, like Luther Mahoney on Homicide. So, I think getting shot by Pat Mc Namara definitely needs to be an option.

Comment by Ass Diamonds from Sunny Leone

,

Comment by Leajnbli




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