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Cheeky Bastards by Shakεy

englishmen
Deadspin commenter and writer for The Rookies CoolHwhip is today’s contributor.

The NFL is in talks to bring two regular-season games to London in 2010. After arriving in London for my weekly trip, I asked two British folk what they thought. Here was their back-and-forth:

Harry: Eh Mick, ya hear bout them Yankees fucks bringing der Rugby-bastard game over here for ‘nother go?
Mickey: Fuck wanna do that fo?
Harry: Dunno, think their commish want to make some money cause they think we nuts bout their game.
Mickey: Shit, I just went to them games to get fucked up.
Harry: Ya cheeky bastard, why dinnya tell me that?
Mickey: You was passed out from the footy match the night before.
Harry: Ah, ya Man U pulled their knickers up on that one.
Mickey: Why in fuck’s name they bringing this shit here? They know we only went last time to see what the fuck them Yanks get all riled up for.
Harry: Fan’s must be fuckin’ pissed ov’r losin’ a home game.
Mickey: Aye.
Harry: Fuckin’ lose a chance to get piss-drunk wit his mateys.
Mickey: Ayyyee
Harry: Shit man, they think’ bout doin’ two games next year.
Mickey: Why don’ they just bring the ho’ fuckin’ league ov’r here?
Harry: Who would wanna watch some Rugger wannabe’s wearin’ armour fuck each other up for 4 hours?
Mickey: Aye, as lon’ the cunts got some alcohol available.
Harry: Das what we got footy for.
Mickey: Fuck it, bring this bastard sport o’er here. We can just get fuckin’ drunk if we don’ like the bloody shit.
Harry: Cheeky, cheeky bastard.

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