Style Points

Big Unit Continues to Struggle; Begins Receiving Calls from Alyssa Milano by ClintonPortishead


Veteran Randy Johnson gave up 7 earned runs over four innings of work in a loss against the Mets on Saturday, as he remains two wins shy of eclipsing the 300 mark for his career. The 45-year-old surefire Hall of Famer has found little success in his first season with the Giants, and his ERA has ballooned close to seven as he struggles to find his groove in the Bay Area.

It wasn’t all bad news for the 6’10” lefty this weekend though, as he received the following text message from an unknown number about an hour after the game:

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10 Songs to Steal by Business_Socks

In these tough economic times we here at Style Points have devised a revolutionary way for our readers to still enjoy some cultural enlightenment while keeping an eye on their wallet. Our method? THEFT! So go ahead and get these songs with the notion of repaying the artist by seeing them live when they come around (makes ‘jerkoff’ motion).

1. “Outshined” by Soundgarden

Here’s a track by the seminal Seattle band that hasn’t been done to death. The line ‘lookin’ California/ feelin’ Minnesota’ is the story of my life. I am a handsome yet miserable bastard. Anyways, there’s a great riff and impeccable vocals by the late, great Chris Cornell. I can’t believe the guy’s been dead for what? Eight years? (Checks Wikipedia) Apparently, Mr. Cornell is still alive and well. Sorry. I was thinking of his artistic integrity.

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Christmas Wishlist: Brian Scalabrine by Shakεy

Last December I ran into the old lunk on the streets of Philadelphia as he was trying to locate a mail box for a letter addressed to the North Pole. The confused fella was late for shootaround so he asked me to deposit the letter in the nearest mail bin I could find. I kept the letter. Today, I share Brian Scalabine’s Christmas Wishlist with you.

Hey Santa!

Hope the Elves aren’t driving you crazy like last year when you hit little Fruibles with a frying pan. Has Prancer’s pancreatic cancer improved? Maybe you can send a letter to Jesus so it can be all better. I know you get lots of these things and I don’t want to tire your eyes out and make you get new prescriptions for your half moon lenses. It must take hours to drive to the nearest Lenscrafters eye glass store!

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Sources: Rachel Alexandra is a Tranny by Shakεy

Is Rachel Twelve Inches...Around?

This post is brought to you by contributor CoolHwhip.

Rachel Alexandra. The Wonder Woman of the horse racing world. The girl running with the boys. Kentucky Oaks and Preakness winner.

This filly has captured the sports world with her domination of the Kentucky Oaks and recent win at the Preakness. But what if this Wonder “Woman” isn’t a woman after all, but a post-operation transvestite.

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In Remarkable Display of Compassion, John Elway Chooses Not to Disown Loser Son by ClintonPortishead
The Unhappiest Boy in the World

The Unhappiest Boy in the World

Recently, Jack Elway (ASU freshman Quarterback and son of NFL Hall of Famer/Baltimore Colts pariah John) announced he was quitting football. It seemed the minor Elway doesn’t share his father’s love for the game, and had spent his youth more or less going through the motions (other theory: he realized he’d get lots of praise but never actually achieve success without a Terrell Davis Jr. to carry the Sundevils’ load).

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Cheeky Bastards by Shakεy

Deadspin commenter and writer for The Rookies CoolHwhip is today’s contributor.

The NFL is in talks to bring two regular-season games to London in 2010. After arriving in London for my weekly trip, I asked two British folk what they thought. Here was their back-and-forth: Continue reading

Weekly Power Poll: New Jobs For Van Gundy by Business_Socks

We here at Style Points perform many duties.  At different points in our career we’ve been called a clubhouse cancer, clubhouse lawyer (redundant), class clown, hall monitor, first base coach and occasionally, head hunter.  So today we put on our career counselor cap (it’s bedazzled) and try to fit soon- to-be-unemployed Stan Van Gundy with a new career.

Donut Maker10. Donut Maker – We hate to typecast someone but he looks the part.  He also looks the part of a cretinous porn star but, you knew that already.
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