Style Points


Style Points Poll: How Will Lane Kiffin Get in Trouble Next?
Kiffin explains the more delicate intricacies of recruiting violations

Kiffin explains the more delicate intricacies of recruiting violations

Former Al Davis whipping boy/blood jockey Lane Kiffin has already run afoul of the NCAA several times in his short time as head coach of the University of Tennessee, prompting many to wonder if the fair-haired lady-killer is in over his head. His various rules infractions so far have included unauthorized career advice, ill-advised follow-up calls, calling the kettle black, illegal use of a fog machine, practicing medicine without a license, and most recently, oversharing on Twitter (redundant).

As we make a living on being one step ahead of the game, Style Points now looks to the future and prognosticates the precocious coach’s next avenue of fuck-up.

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Healthy Living with George Karl

As America remains mired in an epidemic of obesity and sedentary lifestyle, Style Points feels we have a civic obligation to tackle the problem head-on and lead a national campaign of health education and awareness. However, this seemed like far too much work, so instead we asked friend-of-the-site and current Denver Nuggets Head Coach/celestial body George Karl to share his tips to a healthier and happier you. (Editorial note: The copy we received from Karl was covered in honey mustard and what appears to be saliva, but we’ve tried to transcribe the best we can).

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Big Unit Continues to Struggle; Begins Receiving Calls from Alyssa Milano

crapshootchildren

Veteran Randy Johnson gave up 7 earned runs over four innings of work in a loss against the Mets on Saturday, as he remains two wins shy of eclipsing the 300 mark for his career. The 45-year-old surefire Hall of Famer has found little success in his first season with the Giants, and his ERA has ballooned close to seven as he struggles to find his groove in the Bay Area.

It wasn’t all bad news for the 6’10” lefty this weekend though, as he received the following text message from an unknown number about an hour after the game:

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In Remarkable Display of Compassion, John Elway Chooses Not to Disown Loser Son
The Unhappiest Boy in the World

The Unhappiest Boy in the World

Recently, Jack Elway (ASU freshman Quarterback and son of NFL Hall of Famer/Baltimore Colts pariah John) announced he was quitting football. It seemed the minor Elway doesn’t share his father’s love for the game, and had spent his youth more or less going through the motions (other theory: he realized he’d get lots of praise but never actually achieve success without a Terrell Davis Jr. to carry the Sundevils’ load).

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Celebrity Editorials: Ty Cobb
The Georgia Peach

The Georgia Peach

Every so often, we here at Style Points are lucky enough to feature a guest editorial from a famous figure on a relevant topic.  This week, Ty Cobb addresses the controversy surrounding gay marriage. Please send any questions, comments, or concerns to his grave.

Ty Cobb here, the Georgia Peach. I understand there’s a controversy a-brewin’ about gays getting married? Poppycock! Why, I remember when I found out we had us a gay on the Aught-Six Tigers club like it was yesterday. I had just gone 5 for 6 with 4 three-baggers off of Gentleman Jim Johnson and the Altoona Travelin’ Salesmen, and I was back in the showers washing all the dirt and tibia pieces out of my cleats. There was this tall drink of water named Emmett Abrams, who we’d just called up from the Saginaw Straightshooters (we were short-manned on account of yours truly having busted our last shortstop’s eye socket with a can of Dapper Dan for glancin’ at me funny).
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The Style Points Mailbag: Volume I

mailbag

Welcome to the Style Points mailbag, where the festering questions of our ever-growing readership are met with derision, flatulence, and occasional humor. If you have a question that you’d like answered with style (or can figure out how to make our dicks bigger), please email us at stylepointsblog@gmail.com. On to the answers!
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